During our one year and three months of destination wedding planning, we had our share of painful arguments, tears, doubts about the wedding as we ran into all of these mistakes and they almost stopped us. But on our wedding night, right before we fall asleep on our bed, the indescribable joy, feeling of being complete, and the experience of being deeply in love with the one you just married, made it ALL worthwhile. So by addressing these myths now, I hope these “unproven or false collective beliefs” will not stop you from making your once in a life time wedding experience, really special and unique.
Mistake #3 Expectation that the wedding planner will take care of everything and all I need to do is pick and choose without any hassle.
We hired a wedding planner who lives in Bali since a local wedding planner has all the local contacts. However, I did not like everything that he presented to me for our wedding. One example was his suggestion on our wedding venue. My experience was, his suggestions were based on: Locations that are more convenient for him or Where he will make more commission or locations where he had planned other destination weddings before, so it is easier and more familiar for him.
His suggestions did not fit with what we liked for our wedding venue, so instead of waiting for him to give us more options, I did the research myself, found what we liked, and he contacted the wedding venue and made the booking. I am not undermining the value of a destination wedding planner, but if you have this expectation, you will be setting yourself up for an upset. Don’t be stopped if your wedding planner says, “This is how it is usually done in the past”. If there is anything you want to get done or have a question about, take on being in charge, ask questions, you are the boss, you call the shots.
Mistake #2 “This person will not come to my destination wedding for sure.”
You will be surprised. As we put together our destination wedding guest list, just by looking at the names on our list, we already had an idea of who would come and who would not. Or so we thought. Our preconceptions on who would show up on our wedding day were almost completely wrong. Some people who we thought would definitely be there without a question, said “can’t make it,” or said yes initially and pulled out later. Some people who we thought would never come or people who we thought couldn’t afford a trip showed up on time. There were also people who said No initially, then said Yes later and couldn’t stop thanking us for inviting them. Saying Yes or No to our wedding invitation is one step, but for the guest to take action and book their trip is another.
Some people booked their tickets and planned their whole trip right away and some people waited and did not booked their ticket until the last minutes. The bottom line is, you just never know what people would do, even if they are very close to you. What you can do is to let go of all your preconceptions and invite your guests enthusiastically, this is the only way to find out.
Mistake #1: You think that the more money you spend, the better and the more special your wedding will be.
This is what most of us think, even though we may not consciously say that to ourselves. There is nothing wrong with having that view because we live in a society where most things are “The more the better, the bigger the better”. We can easily fall into this trap while we are planning our wedding. So if it is not “The more money is spend on a wedding, the more special it will be”, what really matters then? One simple tip that could alter how your wedding turns out for you and your guests is by asking:
Why? Why are you spending on what you are spending? Are you spending the money on something to show off, or is it because it really makes a difference to your wedding? Or is it your partner and your self-expression? Is it because your parents said so or is it because you love and appreciate your guest? Is it because this is just “How weddings are SUPPOSED to be?” or is it because it reflects what is important to you and your partner?
Every couple is different so there is no right or wrong answer. The point is: be aware of the trap “The more the better”. Working it out with your partner by asking “Why?” will alter how your wedding turns out.